Leaders: How to get from The Great Resignation to The Great Reawakening

It’s the holidays, and we’re officially in the throes of the season of gratitude: being thankful, counting our blessings, expressing gratefulness. But honestly? I’m a bit over it. I’m struggling to remember how this year went, let alone how to reflect on it in a mindful way. 

I imagine that’s because we spent so much of this year (and year before) holding our breath, we forgot how to breathe. We’ve been so focused on waiting for what’s next, we barely spent any time focusing on the now. 

In many respects, focusing on the now means focusing on ourselves.

Think about it: In this new hybrid world, power lies in the individual. As leaders, we’re no longer beholden to a strict, corporate structure with strict, corporate guidelines. Autonomy rules. The focus on mental health has never felt so important. (In fact, it’s the most common theme across my conversations all year.) The classic nine-to-five schedule is passé; the four-day work week is banging on our door louder than ever.  Now and in the future, work revolves around the individual — not the other way around.

This new-found freedom and celebration of individual time and mental space isn’t just reserved for employees or team members, either. Everyone — including you (yes, you!) — is welcome to it. Which is great news…so long as we know what to do with it. And that’s where self-actualization comes in.

So what, exactly, is self-actualization?

One-time Psych majors will probably remember psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs: a genius tool for connecting the dots between our individual needs and wants with a higher understanding of the self. Maslow’s theory was that once we meet our basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid (air, water, food, etc.), we begin leveling up to more nuanced desires — from being loved and included, to wielding power and prestige. Ultimately, the self-actualized self will be able to focus on potential, morality, purpose, and so forth — but only after more essential “needs” have been met. 

It’s the holidays, and we’re officially in the throes of the season of gratitude: being thankful, counting our blessings, expressing gratefulness. But honestly? I’m a bit over it. I’m struggling to remember how this year went, let alone how to reflect on it in a mindful way. 

I imagine that’s because we spent so much of this year (and year before) holding our breath, we forgot how to breathe. We’ve been so focused on waiting for what’s next, we barely spent any time focusing on the now. 

In many respects, focusing on the now means focusing on ourselves.

Think about it: In this new hybrid world, power lies in the individual. As leaders, we’re no longer beholden to a strict, corporate structure with strict, corporate guidelines. Autonomy rules. The focus on mental health has never felt so important. (In fact, it’s the most common theme across my conversations all year.) The classic nine-to-five schedule is passé; the four-day work week is banging on our door louder than ever.  Now and in the future, work revolves around the individual — not the other way around.

This new-found freedom and celebration of individual time and mental space isn’t just reserved for employees or team members, either. Everyone — including you (yes, you!) — is welcome to it. Which is great news…so long as we know what to do with it. And that’s where self-actualization comes in.

So what, exactly, is self-actualization?

One-time Psych majors will probably remember psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs: a genius tool for connecting the dots between our individual needs and wants with a higher understanding of the self. Maslow’s theory was that once we meet our basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid (air, water, food, etc.), we begin leveling up to more nuanced desires — from being loved and included, to wielding power and prestige. Ultimately, the self-actualized self will be able to focus on potential, morality, purpose, and so forth — but only after more essential “needs” have been met. 

Joseph Campbell explained it as an inner gratification that comes from pursuing “your bliss.” A place where you’re no longer driven by what other folks may think of you. On the contrary, you are driven by a deeper meaning and strive to bring your talents and potential into the world. Some describe it as a calling or a passion. 

When a leader is in a state of self-actualization, they feel obligated to become whatever they feel they have the potential to be. This kind of leader has more awareness of what they want and can be. They often times find alignment between what they do for a living and what feeds them. 

So, who cares? 

I’ve read numerous sources who agree that the best leaders — the people we all look up to — are advocates not only for their own self-actualization, but in helping individual team members to get there, too. If leaders can help set up individuals for success by fulfilling their essential needs, then those individuals are more likely to reach to the top of that pyramid, at which point everyone in the company benefits from the individual’s self-actualization.

And let’s face it… leadership is an art. 

It’s interpreted and expressed individually. Just as a great artist works to transcend present conditions and limitations to achieve something beyond their current experience, leaders are constantly being challenged to think more critically, creatively — outside their current reality. 

Put simply, self-actualization is the concept of focusing on and realizing one’s potential. It’s not a new idea. But thanks to the pandemic — and with it, a newfound discovery and celebration of the self — the self-actualized individual has been put on a pedestal. Self-care is bigger than ever. And self-actualization is right there with it. 

This is part of what I and many others call the “whole leader” approach.

What does it mean to be a “whole leader”?

The “whole leader” approach is something I talk about a lot with my female clients, in particular. But it’s just as important, if not more so, for men. What does it mean to move away from toxic masculinity — that tough outer shell that’s long since dated — and instead move toward embracing the soft skills that build loyalty in the workplace? 

The goal is to integrate the personal and the professional. 

I’m a little obsessed with Scott Berry Kaufman’s take on this matter. As a psychologist and scientist focusing on the potential of the human mind, he’s pretty good at justifying why self-actualization is so crucial to harnessing one’s full potential as a leader.

Of course, being your “whole self” looks wildly different for everyone. But as Kaufman argues, there are several key tenets we can follow to get there. Similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Kaufman uses a sailboat metaphor: a visual aid to help remind us that a sense of security of self is just as important as growing our sense of self. Security, for instance, stresses the concepts of self-esteem, connection, and safety. Growth, on the other hand, is more like the “sail” that can steer us toward new adventures of understanding — following purpose, love, and exploration.

It’s a lot to process — I know. 

Self-actualization — the idea of bringing your whole self to whatever you do — is incredibly nuanced. It goes way beyond understanding yourself well enough to lead grace at the holiday table, or lead your team during a day of charity work during the winter break. 

The bottom line is, there are a lot of terms and insights and ideas iterating why self-actualization is ripe for leadership. And believe me: it’s time! Leadership is in dire need of this process. Honestly, if not now, after what we’ve been through, then when?

Many of you reading this may be nodding along, thinking, “Yes! I want to be self-actualized!” It’s an easy goal to strive for, theoretically thinking. Who wouldn’t want to know themself better? Who doesn’t want to thrive with creativity, spontaneity, and acceptance? Just know that it takes real time, and real effort. Coaches can help you get there, of course. But in the end, it’s on you to follow through.

If you’re up to practice some Self-Actualization, continue to add behaviors and leadership qualities to your list. Here are a few places to look:

• Look at life with the eyes of a child; appreciate what’s right in front of you. PLAY.
• Own everything in your life, not just the things that go well or have you “look good.”
• Avoid inauthentic conversations, name-calling, defensiveness and game playing. 
• Be willing to be unpopular or resented because you express views that align with your integrity, not the majority.
• Step outside your comfort zone, even if it threatens your ego and identity.

As we end the year as we always do — with visions of gratitude and year-end deadlines in our heads — don’t forget to turn inward instead of rushing to make some grand gesture on behalf of your team. Consider blocking out time now, before your calendar is overrun with holiday obligations, to begin work on your own journey of self-actualization. Maybe it’s a manifesto of sorts. Kaufman has one. I’m working on one (and will be sharing with you very soon!). Yours is out there waiting for you to write it if you choose. If that’s not worth pursuing, then I don’t know what is. 

With gratitude. 

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